Stupid Emotions. Dx

So I'm still talking to him and it's sort of extra awkward because when we talk, I feel too comfortable. I sort of think he wants me back, but then I also think that maybe I'm just saying that because I want it to be true. Ughhhh.

I can't explain how I feel about all of this. Actually, I'm just confused. I hate this. I either want to like him and him like me back, or not like him and him not like me back.

But of course, it's neither of those. It's more of a "I think that maybe I still like you but I don't know if I should because I don't know if you like me or not and also people say that you're not a very nice guy but I think you are."

So maybe I should listen to what people tell me. People can see what goes on. Love is blind, after all.
But maybe I shouldn't because my feelings are my own and I shouldn't let other people tell me how to feel.

:\

Why is this so confusing??

Because I'm making it more confusing than it needs to be.

What's wrong with meeEE??? D:

I can't think straight.
I can't even remember what I was going to write about.
Bahh.
Dx

Feeling a little blue?

So it's over.
And I don't really want to talk about it.
:\

Oh, actually I'd like to say one thing. I'm pretty sure I bombed my chorus audition today. Awesome! 8D
(Eh. Nah, I guess it's fine.)

I'm so confused. Dx

I just don't know what to do anymore.
Not that I knew what to do in the first place.. xD I mean, I can't tell if I'm happy or not.
If I am, I don't know until I'm with him. If I'm not, I can't come to admit it.
(although I did finally admit that I wasn't as happy as I could be.)
But.. I don't want to let go.
It's stupid to think that I should just keep this up until he wants to end it
Because I'm waiting for him to make the next move.
I'll do whatever he thinks is best for us, even if it makes me feel like this.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?"
Because I...

I never told him that I love him and I don't know if that's good or not. I'm afraid he won't feel the same way. I'm also afraid that if he knows, he'll feel uncomfortable when he leaves me.

I've always known this wouldn't work out the way I thought it would.
I knew it from the day he started talking to me again. I really did.
But I didn't want to think that something bad was about to happen.
So I ignored that feeling I had.
And said "of course."

~It was there that he held me and I accidentally asked "..are you gonna ask me out?" He chuckled and said, "I was just going to." Then he asked me. The clock said 3:09, and I said yes.

Flat Soda

Right now, I'm eating pizza and drinking a flat Dr. Pepper.
Why are you drinking a flat Dr. Pepper when there's other drinks in the fridge?
Because it tastes pretty good and it's what I want right now.

I thought about that. It relates to people, I guess.
Why do you love him when there are other people who could be better?
Because he has plenty of good qualities. And he's the one I want.

Maybe my soda's flat. So what? This is what I want.

(isn't that a terrible thing to say about someone? "Oh, you're like a flat soda. Not perfect, but it's what I wanted to drink, so I'm taking it." That's awful. But it's the truth... right?)

Bloggin'.

It's hard to keep 2 blogs. xD
Well, not really. Only a little bit of extra work.
Ehhhh.. I think this one's sorta boring, though. Of course, I just started, so who knows what'll happen?

This blog is pretty much just about life and boring things that no one really cares about. xD I like my other one, thoughts, which expresses what I'm thinking (duh).

So yeah.

A pressing issue in my life right now is whether or not to make a facebook. I think it miiiiight be a good idea, but then again, I don't know. I'm kinda lazy and I might end up learning stuff about me I don't want to know (which means, I might get insulted. D': Wahhhh.).
So I don't know what I want to do. Oh, well. I'll figure it out larer.

It's just a game

Basketball's just a game. It's not a particularly awful game once you play it, and as long as you're having fun, who cares who wins?

Love is just a game. It's not a particularly awful game, either, as long as you follow the rules.

What rules?

There's no instruction manual for love. You play however you want to. And sometimes that works out, and sometimes it doesn't.

Sometimes you get hurt when you're playing the game of Love. Sometimes you get hurt when you're playing the game of Basketball. Like today, when I got elbowed in the cheek (hahaha xD).

But it's not a big deal, right? It's just a little bit of pain. Pain subdues in time.

If you keep getting hurt, then stop playing. It's stupid to keep doing something you know you're not good at.

If I want to stop, I'll stop. But right now, I'm having fun. I'm perfectly content to get up after getting knocked down. As long as I can continue without feeling unhappy.
As long as you're helping me along the way.